HE GONE!!!!!

ESPN's Buster Olney is reporting that Michael Barrett has been traded to the San Diego Fathers.

I see this as good news and proof positive the Cubs are committed to winning this season. Taking it a step further, it shows the Cubs are even willing to take DRASTIC mid-season measures to try and turn this team around.

The pulse is faint, but it's a pulse nonetheless. Nice.

I'm not sure what is better, knowing I'm done watching Mikey single handedly lose games or knowing that the Cubs are actively trying to win their division. Either way I think today is a good day at Clark and Addison. I just hope Sammy doesn't ruin it with a home run tonight.

HIATUS!!!

We realize that blogging is a 24/7/365 gig, but unfortunately our lack of posts will continue for one more week. We apologize for the inconvenience but we promise when we do come back this page will be better than ever.

Congratulations The Tedster!!!

We often dwell on the negative here at Shooter and Gracey, but today we have great news.

R.P. Tague (aka The Tedster) has been named Vice-Chairman of Mass Transportation by the Sycamore Speedway Board of Directors.

This is a huge day for both the Speedway and the Tedster.

Red Ships of Spain

Last week most d-bags were writing about how the Bulls' season was over down 3-love to the Detroit Pistons.

With last night's astonishing game, the Bulls have now won two in a row and have a chance to force Game 7 if they can somehow win tomorrow in Chicago. For Ben's and the boys the road ahead is still extremely tough, but at least it seems they might have some momentum to help carry them on their way.

Bulls playoff mania aside there is a world outside of the NBA right now and, taken in extremely small doses, it is actually worth discussing.

• CNNSI.COM's Daily List takes a look at the T0p 5 Nintendo sports games of all time. I love Nintendo sports games because they are the only games at which I was ever decent. Their list is fine except leaving California Games off is either a tragedy or a travesty.
• Jason Marquis has been promoted to Cubs pitching coach. This should give Larry Rothschild plenty of time for his favorite hobby.
• Bill Syken at SI.com writes about the fall of the mighty baseball card industry. My favorite card collecting moment is when I stole a M Jeff card from my 7 year old brother. Second favorite moment is the entire summer of '89 when we kept buying packs of Fleer baseball cards in hopes of getting the Billy Ripken "fuck face" card.
• Studs Terkel turns 95... go crazy!
• 24 will be back for at least 2 more seasons. Thank god Milo Pressman won't be around to see it.

Why I Hate Jim Hendry, Part 1

Let's call this Part 1 because there's too many aspects of his sucktitude to fit into one post. Let's start with this from today's Tribune:

Upon returning to New York on Monday, former Met Cliff Floyd said he was surprised at his relative lack of playing time with the Cubs.

"A lot of things we talked about earlier in contract negotiations hasn't worked out," he said. "I thought I'd be playing more."

So not only did Jim sign Cliff to what could end up being a multiyear deal, he actually promised the old bag of bones some playing time. The Floyd signing fits in with a few of Jim's great strategies:

- Give a multiyear deal to some old/bad player for no reason. This inflates your payroll so that a $100 million team is in reality an overpaid $80 million team. Check this out: Hank, Derosa, Eyre, Floyd, Howry, CesEar, and Jacque are getting paid over $25 mildo this year. And most of them will be around next year. That is an awful allocation of resources.

- Overvalue somebody based on one good year. Mark DeRosa? Most people would see a 32 year old with a career OPS of .738. This is bad. Jim puts on his marinara colored glasses and sees the guy who hit .332 before the All Star break last year. CesEar? Coherent baseball execs see a guy with a .633 career OPS - this is actually worse than Neifi. Jim instead sees the guy that had a good couple months to somehow make the All Star team in 2005.

- Tell these bums that they're going to start. So it's pretty obvious that Hendry told Floyd (and probably Derosa) that he would start this year. This really screws over your manager. If Lou goes along with Hendry's moronic "promise" to these guys, he's robbing Murton and Theriot of the chance to prove they can play every day. If he does the right thing and plays the young guys, you get a bunch of bitter old men giving grumpy quotes in the paper like Cliff did.

That's just the tip of the Jim Hendry sucks iceberg. Hopefully the new owner gets rid of this turd sandwich, until then at least we have this and this to look forward to.

Playoff Bulls, We Hardly Knew Ye

Things do not look good for our beloved Chicago Bulls.

After a decisive first round ass stomping of the defending champs, the Bulls were primed for another upset of the top seeded Detroit Pistons.

And then the series started...

While the Bulls have scrambled for "energy" and "points", the Pistons have consistently dictated the pace and flow of the games with consistent guard play, good defense and veteran savy. In other words, the Pistons are a lot better than the Bulls.

Even in yesterday's Game 3 when the Bulls were up big in the first half, Detroit made a small run in the last minute that accomplished two things: cut into the Bulls lead and set the tone for Bulls pee-pantsing in the second half.

Here are a few observations/questions from yesterday's contest that are still bothering me:

• Why do the Bulls constantly dribble around the Piston's zone?


• Tayshaun Prince is really good. He can get his shot whenever he wants. What is stopping him from being great?


• I know guarding Rasheed Wallace is extremely difficult, however, he keeps doing the same three moves over and over again. High screen/role for a 3, baseline one dribble turn around, and the one when he trails the play and hits a wide open 3. Please, I beg you, just make him beat you another way.


• Nobody on the Bulls wants to shoot down the stretch, except for Nocioni.

Obviously the series isn't over yet, but let's face it the series is over.

I Can't Quit You Mark Grace

Apparently we are not the only ones who suffer from some sort of Mark Grace adoration disorder.

Check out this guy.

Note the other collectible pursuits at the bottom of the page.

All Over, Again: Bulls Round 2 Preview

Since we spoke last, your Chicago Bulls swiftly cracked Pat Riley over his Armani wearing duds with the handle of a broomstick. This series went by so quickly that all has been forgotten because of what this has resulted in. An epic series.

My main man Chuck Dickens said it best when this statement was made regarding the French term deja vu: "We have all some experience of a feeling, that comes over us occasionally, of what we are saying and doing having been said and done before, in a remote time – of our having been surrounded, dim ages ago, by the same faces, objects, and circumstances – of our knowing perfectly what will be said next, as if we suddenly remember it." Dickens is showing his geniusness today, not only for creating a rule that forces golfers to pull down their pants and run around the tee box if they can't hit a drive past the ladies marker, but for predicting these events that seem to have already happened: Bulls vs. Pistons in the NBA playoffs, again.

Same Faces:

This category seems to fit, almost 20 years later we have the usual suspects.

John Paxson vs Joe Dumars: Back in the late 80's and early 90's, these two GM's of the Bulls and the Pistons respectively were key contributors to the success of their former teams. Johnny Pax by then had gotten rid of the mustache, freeing up room to shoot deadly j's and Joe Dumars was the key to the "Jordan Rules" defensive playbook to slow down Dorf on Golf. All week you will hear of the two's squeaky clean image, classy business ethics, and impeccable character, so bring the barf bag to each periodical visit, because it gets nauseating.

Edge: I don't care for people from Shreveport, Louisiana so I'll take the guy who proudly sported Andres Nocioni's jersey for 9 years: Johnny Pax. Oh yeah, and Red is still manning the airwaves.

Same Objects:

In between playing a Sleestack in the TV series "Land of the Lost" and coaching the WNBA's Detroit Shock, Bill Laimbeer was a leader on the despised Bad Boy version of the Detroit Pistons (Yeah, I know. Who knew that large green humanoids could play hoops). While frequently throwing his body around the court he would constantly break or hurt his facial area, making him wear a clear mask on his face that would make bukaki blush. Twenty years later, Pistons guard Rip Hamilton has been wearing the same mask since the 2003-2004 playoffs and continues to wear it for good luck. He is so enamored with this mask that he got into a confrontation with Tyrus Thomas during the regular season for wearing a similar mask months before. Not very smart by Rip, it's hard to believe that players aren't out there trying to attack that pretty little protected nose.

Edge: Not sure why there is an edge-o-meter here but it goes to the Bulls anyhow.

Same Circumstances:

This category goes unsaid, it's win or go home basketball, it's the Motor City vs the Second City, and it's old rivalries. An aging former champion Detroit Piston team versus a young, up and coming Bulls team. The Bulls have Skiles on their side and with him they are unstoppable.

From the Heat to the Pistons, like deja vu it's all over, again.

Edge: Bulls in 7

Cubs Gournal #3

The baseball world reacted to the death of Josh Hancock in different ways. Some (the wine chugging hypocrite) threatened to swing their fungo bats at any reporter who dared to try and figure out what actually happened. Others (ESPN douchebags) tried to tell us that we had lost part of the fabric of baseball. Cardinals fans most likely honored him by guzzling a bucket of moonshine and getting a No. 32 tattoed on their chest. The sad part is, the Cards fan had the most reasonable reaction of the three.

The other big off the field news was that a Mets clubhouse errand boy may have been the biggest juice dealer in the league. Sooner or later a whole mess of players are going to be outed, and odds are that at least one of these guys will be a Cub. It got me thinking, who will it be? I think I can rule a few guys out:

- Scott Eyre, Daryle Ward. Moobs are one of the side effects of steroids, but these guys have only big chesticles because they're morbidly obese.

- Ronny Cedeno. He's skinny and bad.

- Dumpster. He's too busy polishing his act to become the Canadian Carrot Top.

- Hank White. Unless rubbing Brill cream in your mullet is a performance enhancer, I don't think so.

Mixed in with these big stories were some actual baseball games. Two weeks ago the Cubs were 3 games under .500 and 3 games out of first. Right now they're 2 games under .500 and 5 games out of first. Even though the standings haven't improved (the Brewers have to start sucking soon right?), there's a lot to like about the team right now.

Lou seems to have figured out that Theriot's on base skills and average defense are better than Cesar's bad hitting and awful defense. Soriano has been hitting well since moving back to left, and D Lee is on pace to hit about 700 doubles. The rotation looks good without raggedy-armed Wade Miller. The bullpen finally got a win, and the team finally won a couple close games (now they're a stellar 2-9 in one and two run matches). And Lou continues to entertain (from the Sun-Times):

Add this to the list of strange-but-true conversations on the pitcher's mound. When Piniella went out to talk to Lilly in the second inning Tuesday, Lilly spoke first. ''He said, 'Skip, your zipper's down,''' Piniella said. ''I said, 'Forget my zipper.' ... How he noticed that, I don't know.'' Said Lilly: ''I was just trying to help him out. Figured he might be on national television.''

Here's hoping the Cubs follow old Lou's lead and let it all hang out at Wrigley against the woeful Nats and Bucs.

Larry Mayer Strikes Again

Larry Mayer has done it again. Not to be outdone by Larry Miller or the L-Man, the original "Mr. Bear" has brought it again with another gem from his "Chalk Talk with Larry Mayer" segment on www.chicagobears.com.

Seriously, this is a really great point that anyone who follows the Bears or the draft needs to consider when it comes to the value of draft picks, especially first day picks.

Larry: I would like to know your opinion on the three picks that the Bears received for the No. 37 draft pick they had picked up from the Jets in the Thomas Jones trade. I was originally disappointed in the trade, but Dan Bazuin, Garrett Wolfe and Kevin Payne seem like great compensation for Thomas Jones, not to mention a third-round pick next year.
Larry S.

Larry: I agree with you completely about the compensation the Bears ultimately received for Thomas Jones, and that seems to be one storyline that has been overlooked in all of the draft coverage. With their shrewd trade, the Bears were able to parlay the pick they received for Jones into a defensive end, running back and safety who all could contribute as rookies.

Personally I was not dissapointed when Thomas Jones was traded because I understood why he had to go. It did seem interesting that we had to swap picks to complete the deal, but I trust Jerry Angelo so I had no problems with it.

What is amazing to me is how these things snowball and how forward thinking teams like the Bears manipulate their draft picks in order to ensure long term success.

The typical meatball fan never realizes the importance of these deals and will inevitably spend their time next year farting and complaining that 2007's running backs are nothing like the immortal Thomas Jones. At the same time they'll be cheering their mustaches off while Wolfe runs, Bazuin sacks, and Payne eats wide receivers faces.

Kirk Mindtrick: Bulls Round 1 Preview

On the eve of First Round action NBA Playoffs style, the battle of mental toughness has already been decided. Miami Heat’s all world guard Dwyane Wade has allowed the master of head games to strike again. Dr. Hinrich, for no other reason I can come up with, has always been able to D up D-Wade by mostly paranoia. Sure he’s an above average defender, but it takes more to hold ‘Flash’ in check than just being quick to the ball. Can you imagine being an NBA superstar and having a goofy looking country boy from Iowa talk trash (sort of) to you and back it up? I couldn’t. I’d have a one way ducket to Dr. Leo Marvin’s office.

Not only is Captain Kirk in Wade’s attic, how about James “Not Quite Willie” Posey? Willie, I mean James (wait are you sure they aren't the same person) Posey once tried to de-shoulder the above mentioned ‘Too Pretty from Sioux City’ in a playoff game last year. Like Marty McSorley once enforced the ice for the Great One, James Posey thinks he is ‘the Law’ of the hardwood (and apparently of the roads). Opening night this season, a rematch against the Heaters, a Bulls ass kicking by the way, Posey thought that it was his duty to welcome Tyrus Thomas to the NBA, Geraldo style. Tyrus was back within a week and has improved beyond most’s expectations. In the mean time, Posey still stinks and he may or may not be playing much in this series due to a recent wrist injury. Tyrussaurus must be salivating at the opportunity to get revenge with a different kind of facial than what Posey so cowardly chose.

And to the people out there choosing the Shaq matchup to be the end-all be-all of the series, shut up. Shaq will get his Kazaam on, sure, but can Miami take the Heat? The first time Hinrich and Wade get tangled up and Flash gets knocked to the floor courtesy of a Chapu brick wall pick, the pendulum will surely swing towards Lake Michigan.

Other featured matchups:

Skiles vs Riles: Pat Riley may have the Hollywood good looks, slicked back hair, and championship rings, but no nonsense Indiana-bred Scott Skiles has 30 assists to his resume and one of the greatest quotes used since humans could talk: "If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question ... wait a minute, I do have a dollar for every time I've been asked that question." You get the point.

Edge: Skiles by a country miles.

The Fro vs. The Diesel: The only player to shoot free throws worse than the Big Baryshnikov is ‘The Body’ Ben Wallace. Scott Skiles doesn’t care so I don’t care.

Edge: Big Ben

All and all Chicago fans, this will be must see TV from home or at the UC. From Gordon floaters, to Tyrus badonka-dunks, Thabo wabos, and free Big Macs. Both teams are different from a year ago, Miami a bit older and the Bulls a bit colder.

Now seriously folks, four games in Chicago should be enough, the Heat are beat up pretty good now, and the Bulls have the depth. The difference this time around will be mental toughness. No one in the East is more mentally tough than the crew devised by Johnny Pax.
Duhon hitting some wide open j's would be nice too.

Edge: Da Bool in 6

Cubs Gournal #2

Somebody in this picture needs to be sent to the glue factory, and it's not the horse. The Cubs have had a rough go of it lately, and Scott Eyre didn't really help matters Wednesday night in Atlanta.

The latest in a series of nad punch losses included many things we've already seen too much of this season: a shaky start from Big Z, a late inning comeback that falls just short, crappy pitching from the bullpen lefties not named Neal Cotts, and a defensive miscue from Little Cesar.

The team is 0-6 in games decided by two runs or less. When they get good pitching, they hit like Neifi. When they get good hitting, they pitch like Wade Miller. If they can just figure out how to hit and pitch simultaneously for a week or two, they'll be fine. This division is like the NFC North without the Bears.

- The agony started on Friday. Carlos was cruising along with a 5 run lead when the roof caved in during the 5th inning. Ohman came in and helped out by walking in a couple of runs. Mt. Lou's first eruption of the season almost made up for this crapfest. Rich Hill and Lilly pitched a couple of great games back to back, but Lilly's was wasted when Kyle Freaking Lohse struck out 12 of these knuckleheads in 8 shutout innings.

- Monday's win over the Pads was notable for another good start by Marquis (who seems to have forgotten for now that he sucks) and the inevitable injury to Soriano. Turns out it was just a hammy pull, and it gave us the opportunity to see Felix Pie for a few days. The only thing I want to remember about his debut is the laser that he unleashed to gun a guy at the plate in the 10th. The outcome of the game itself made Cubs fans feel like they had eaten some tainted puppy chow. Even Lou didn't want anything to do with it (from the Trib):

Jason Marquis was inserted as a pinch-runner by "assistant manager-for-the-day" Cliff Floyd. Because the Cubs were out of position players, Marquis would have played first base in the 15th if the game had been tied up."I told Floyd to figure it out," Piniella said. "That was his job."Floyd said he chose Marquis because of his athleticism, but wasn't really sure why he was asked to make the decision."I was just sitting down there chilling," Floyd said, "hoping we'd win this game."

- Rich Hill salvaged a split in Atlanta after Eyre's pants-pooping Wednesday night. Hill has looked so good that his arm will probably be eaten by a wood chipper pretty soon.

There are a lot of questions surrounding this team as the Cards come to town. Can they turn it around before they dig themselves too big of a hole? Will Pie play well enough to stay up once Soriano is healthy? If so can Hendry just get rid of this bum already? How many more starts will noodle-armed Wade Miller get before Angel Guzman gets a shot? Was anyone else creeped out when Jesse White told Ron Santo "We don’t want your organs now, we’ll take them later" during a visit to the radio booth?

I know I was. If the Cubs don't start winning some more of these close games, Jesse might get to harvest Ronnie's innards sooner than he thinks.

Rocky v. Thunderlips II???

When I woke up this morning I considered three things to be absolute truths.

Of course I'm talking about death, taxes, and Rocky v. Thunderlips as the greatest inter-disciplinary fight of all time.

If UFC president Dana White has his way, one of those truths will be in serious jeopardy.

Dan Wetzel at Yahoo Sports wrote yesterday about the war of words going on between White and super-badass and boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather Jr.

A few highlights...

"UFC's champions can't handle boxing. That's why they are in UFC." Mayweather said Tuesday from Las Vegas during a break in training. "Put one of our guys in UFC and he'd be the champion. Any good fighter, he'd straight knock them out."

"Take Chuck Liddell," Mayweather said of the UFC's biggest star and light heavyweight champion (about 205 pounds). "Put him in the ring with a (boxer) who is just 10-0 and Chuck Liddell would get punished."

"Boxers couldn't become mixed martial artists. That's why they're boxers," White countered Wednesday from England where UFC has an event Saturday. "They are one trick ponies. Our guys can do everything. They can box, they can kick box, they can wrestle and do jiu-jitsu. They are much better athletes than boxers."

"I used to talk like Floyd Mayweather when I was involved in boxing," White said. "I talked just like him, until I educated myself about this sport. These guys are amazing athletes, Floyd Mayweather is one of the best boxers ever, (and) Sean Sherk will whoop his ass in under two minutes."

"Any day that Mayweather wants to put his money and his ass where his mouth is, I'm ready," White continued. "If he wants to step up, let's do it."

I realize this will never actually happen, but as we are all things sports here at Shooter and Gracey, I felt it was important to throw our support behind this potential battle. I have no idea what would happen or who I would want to win, but one thing is certain... Rocky III would never be the same.

NostraDraftus

The first pick in the first NFL draft gave Gerald Ford a scar and was big in the plastics industry. He never played in the league.

The third pick in the first NFL draft was actually named William Shakespeare and was huge in the rubber industry. He was drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates and won a medal for gallantry in action.

Since then the draft has been pretty boring. Jets fans like to boo, Tony Mandarich was a bust, Eli Manning is a pud, and Chris Berman is loud, red and puffy. Most self respecting sports blogs like to put together a mock draft of at least the first round. But I'm too lazy for that, so I'll give you the top ten and the first few Bears picks (all we really care about anyway).

Prediction #1 - no trades in the top ten. Everybody is afraid of giving up too much to move up and give a guy a $20 mildo bonus, only to watch him suck it up Eli-style. So here you go, Shooter & Gracey's 1st annual super terrific mock draft explosion party:

1. Oakland - JaMarcus Russell, fat guy, LSU. So he can make the "butt throw". That will come in handy when he is playing behind this big hairy turd.

2. Detroit - Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame. Matt Millen needs somebody to help Roy Williams put up the stupid amount of points he always talks about. Should be fun to watch the shebeast's reaction the first time her man clocks her brother in a pro game.

3. Cleveland - Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma. Picking up a creaky Jamal Lewis won't stop the Browns from drafting this guy. Jamal and Mr. Peterson can share stories about the hoosegow while they watch "All Day" run people over.

4. Tampa Bay - Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech. The best player in the draft falls into Chucky's lap. There are rumors that CJ was manufactured by the same Soviet scientists that came up with this guy. And he's such a good guy off the field he spent his summer building crappers in Bolivia. Unfortunately for Calvin he will have a spleenless Chris Simms or some Polish guy throwing him the rock.

5. Arizona - Joe Thomas, meatwad, Wisconsin. The only interesting storyline here will be if Denny Green will be able to figure out that this pile of meat needs to play right tackle to protect Spuds McKenzie's blind side.

6. Washington - Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson. The Redskins are dumb. It's obvious they want Lance Briggs pretty bad. Most people think if they would have thrown Rocky McIntosh into their offer to the Bears, it was a done deal. But they insist on keeping the guy whose job Lance would take anyway? Whatever. They're better off holding on to the pick - their ends last year combined for 11 sacks, which is bad. And by bad, I mean awful.

7. Minnesota - TheRon Landry, FS, LSU. This dude is good- he's been compared to Ed Reed by several people who spend a lot more time watching football than I do. Hopefully he doesn't do this to Rex.

8. Atlanta - Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville. Petrino is reunited with the Doogie Howser of football. The kid went to college at 16 years old, an age when most of us were trying to figure out how to procure some Mickey's 40's.

9. Miami - Levi Brown, OT, Penn State. Aren't you glad the Bears didn't hire Nick Saban? He actually thought it was a good idea to have one legged Daunte Culpepper and the piano man as his QBs. Daunte should make it to at least Week 6 with this guy blocking for him.

10. Houston - Alan Branch, DT, Michigan. Mario Williams gets some much needed help. I thought long and hard about making Leon Hall the pick, just to have a laugh at the expense of the guy Leon would replace. But Shooter and Gracey is about hard hitting sports analysis, not going for the easy punch line.

31. Bears - Ben Grubbs, OG, Auburn. On to the important picks. The Bears offensive line, and Ruben Brown in particular, is getting old. The pancakes, rodeos, and cockroaches will be nice, but having a guy we can call Grubbsy will be just as good.

37. Bears - Dwayne Bowe, WR, LSU. Moose is on his last legs. Bowe is a possession guy who will be a good complement for the speed of Berrian/Bradley (whichever one is healthy). Look at his positives - does anybody know what "good bubble" means?

94. Bears - Rufus Alexander, OLB, Oklahoma. Even if Briggs comes to his senses and plays the whole season, he'll need to be replaced after the Super Bowl parade. Hopefully he will be as entertaining as this Rufus.

Employee of the Month

Exactly two weeks ago today it was reported that Mark Prior was an employee of the Cubs Organization and he was pushing aside aspirations of Major League greatness to instead become a Triple A All-Star for the Iowa Cubs. Des Moines would never be the same.

Today I regret to inform you that this new career seems to be in jeopardy. If it is the same "vague shoulder soreness" as last year, then Prior's Triple A season likely ends with a record of one 75 pitch bullpen session. It has not yet been reported if Prior will next try his hand at Double A Tennessee Smokies.


We do have some good new to report on the story. It seems a fan has recovered Prior's arm.



Actually that is the arm of a Taiwanese veterinarian, but if Prior actually ever did run into this croc, in my world, the animal would be doing him a favor.

Cubs Gournal #1

Ah...those were the days weren't they Lou? Relaxing on the beach enjoying the company of a lovely lady.

Now you're stuck sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench freezing your 63 year old nads off and watching:

- Your "Gold Glove caliber" shortstop fumble his way to 3 errors in one game.

- Two of your "best" relievers serve up BP in the late innings.

- Your $136 million dollar man get on base about as often as Neifi Perez did.

Fortunately for us, old Lou understands the big picture a little better than all of us meatball fans who crap our pants the first week of the season. I'm sure his gut tells him that Cesar can't be any worse than Ronny/Neifi (can he?) , Howry and Eyre will be fine, and Alfonso and everyone else will start hitting as soon as it warms up.

So I'm going to hop on board Lou's lovable gut and agree that things will get better eventually.

- The season started with Sam Zell's purchase of the Tribune Company. Micheal Ray Richardson saved the newspaper clipping for his Those People Own Everything binder.

- Lou referred to Matt Murton as The Adorable Redhead. A great nickname, but not as good as Burleigh Grimes'. It's too bad Old Aches and Pains is taken, Cliff Floyd is going to have to go back to the drawing board.

- The Reds took two out of three as Big Donkey took Big Z out of the yard twice, Lilly pitched a gem, and Ohman and Barrett couldn't play catch.

- Carlos says the Reds lineup is better than the Brewers, and Rickie Weeks respectfully disagrees. This reminds me of the Jason Dubois-Todd Hollandsworth argument. It doesn't matter, they both stink.

- The Cubs bounced back to win a couple in the good land. Rich Hill (perfect through five innings) and Carlos were good. Wade Miller, not so much.

- In their triumphant return to Wrigley, Cesar and the Cubs laid a couple of eggs for the home crowd, and Devin reminded us that he is a man of many talents.

Things will get better this weekend - Carlos will have his vengeance against the Reds and the bats will warm up. Let's hope the weather does too, because Ronnie's feet are freezing.

Shouldn't these guys be somewhere else??

Hendry brings in Army paratroopers to help get the win and we still can't beat the Astros on opening day? I've always said that Jim Hendry hurts America's chances in winning Operation: Enduring Freedom, and by god I'm on to something. Mr. general manager, keep your hands off of our troops and let them help secure our homeland. You should be ashamed of yourself.

They Can't Be Getting Paid for This

Today at the Sun-Times Gordo W and C DeLuca had this gem in their "short hops" section.

*New center fielder Alfonso Soriano stole his first base in the seventh. He needs 39 more -- and 40 more homers -- for his second straight 40-40 season.

Is it national "have you kids write your column day" already? Holy shit that is dumb.

Hello.

When charged with the unenviable task of composing our Manifesto, I asked myself one simple question. Why do we admire our respective namesakes so much?

For me the answer is simple. Shooter and Gracey represent two paths of life rolled into one; the path we dream of taking and the path we actually take. In other words we are measured by where we end up, but we are remembered for how we got there.

S and G celebrates both paths, and usually does so drunk.

Power and Glory

Can you name a pair of professional athletes that have sucked down more Marlboros than these two superjocks? I didn't think so.

Welcome to their glog.